Anisa

Photo Credits: Alyssa Monks

       

She opened her eyes. Then shut them. She couldn't stand the strong light coming through the curtain. She tried opening them again. This time slowly. She looked around. Her throat was dry. She gathered saliva in her mouth and swallowed hard, seeking to soothe her parched throat. She looked around and could see the walls and the bed she was in. Her head felt like a thousand hammers were beating and tearing its inside. She frisked herself frantically and realised that she had her top clothes on.

“Wait! This is not my sweater what is this?" She thought to herself.

She felt a sense of fear creep onto her. She examined her abdomen hoping that all was intact, she felt her body. She was naked. She turned her head in slow motion hoping to confirm her fears as baseless. Then she saw a strange man sleeping soundly beside her.

“Now, who is this? What have I done?” She castigated herself.

She was in a hotel room. Quietly, she stepped out of the bed to go find her clothes and reclaim her dignity. Her right foot stepped on two used condoms. For a split second, she felt relieved that, at least, there were condoms involved. She picked her pants and found her way to the bathroom. She locked herself in and sat on the toilet.

With her eyes closed, once more she tried to recall the events that had unfolded the previous night.

Blank.

Nothing!

She opened her eyes. Blinked twice and closed them again: Blank.

All she could recollect was having drinks with her friends at the club, and that she was in her second month at her new job. She got out of the bathroom and went to the small table with a Bible on it. She felt sick. She couldn't find her phone. She was getting really agitated. She really wanted to cry, but for some reason she couldn't.

“Pull yourself together! You have to pull yourself together” she inaudibly said to herself.

He turned and woke up. 'Hey, you. There you are! Quite the party animal yeah?” He croaked vehemently. “I had to carry you here. You were so tired and blacked out, come back to bed.” He added. On his face was this stupid grin that gave her a hard time resisting the urge to smack him unconscious.

Anisa: Who are you? Where are we and where are my possessions? My coat and phone and handkerchief, cash, I.D, ATM, lipstick, mirror?

She mentioned everything that she was sure to have had with her the previous night. She tried to sound calm but she could hear her own heart beat. She was panicking since she didn't know who she was dealing with.

Him:    Relax sweetheart, your stuff probably is with your friend from last night. Come back to bed. Wow! The things you can do to a man! I am impressed! You wanted to run away on me but I handled the situation, you know. I brought you back to your best behaviour then later I rewarded you.

Anisa felt a great deal of fear mixed with hopelessness and anger. She tried to make sense of what was happening but couldn't. She tried once more to recollect the events from the previous night but it was as if her brain had been formatted. Blank.

Anisa: Who are you again? What are you talking about and where are my friends? And wipe off that smug on your face it makes you look uglier than you really are.

For at least five seconds, there was dead silence then he got out of bed literally flying towards Anisa. He landed on her, grabbed her by her collar and proceeded to rain a thousand blows on her. Anisa couldn't comprehend what was happening and she raised her arms to shield her face from the raining blows. She felt scared and devastated and couldn't believe that this was really happening to her.

Him:    I told you last night to watch how you talk to me, you stinking whore! I thought I taught you how to treat me, a man. I picked you up even when your friends left you because you are good for nothing. You drink yourself silly then misbehave and I took it upon myself to clean you up. Teach you some class then you talk trash to me?

He grabbed her throat and started squeezing the life out of her. People always talk about seeing their lives flash through their eyes in that split second of grave danger, and perhaps have regrets or contentment with your life, Anisa didn't see that. She felt destroyed, she craved to see her life flash right before her eyes, to brush shoulders with death. More than anything, she wanted to face death and look at it dead-straight in the eye and smile. Life made no sense in this moment. She wanted death to dance with her and embrace her tightly. There was nothing worth fighting for. There was no energy to fight. Her mama’s words echoed in her head. “Always take care of yourself daughter!”

That was her split second; her mother’s words. She closed her eyes and waited for her heart to stop beating. She stopped feeling scared, she felt numb. All this while she had stopped struggling and had let him do as he wished with her body. Her inner being was drifting away from this scene. He could not touch it.  He loosened his grip after noticing that she had stopped putting up a fight. Anisa heaved heavily and coughed. She started taking in air in very huge gasps while coughing her lungs back to life.

Then it hit her. The memory of yester-night. A night which had started in a celebratory mood.

Bolo from I.T had been promoted. Since he was in their squad, Mia suggested drinks, after all, it was a Friday night. The club was hit and the party started. A few drinks later, she started getting tipsy so she gave Mia her coat, handbag and phone…Nothing… Then she walked out for the restroom, then walked back to her company. Then there was a guy…wait! This guy. Confrontation. Something about her walking out on him. Then she explains her trip to the ladies but he would hear none of it. Then slaps and kicks, commotion and confusion … Memory lapse…Then, this morning…the used condoms…the strangling…

            With the last attempt at composure, Anisa sits up from the floor and turns her eyes to him.

Anisa: Can I please use your phone? I need to find my phone please. Let me call my friend.

She knew she was reaching, but she had nothing to lose. She had escaped the worst.

Him:    (handing her his phone and evading eye contact) You better be calling your friend. Cross me again and you won't live to make phone calls.

Anisa dialled Mia's number and waited for her to pick up. She didn't. Anisa redialled Mia's number six times, getting desperate each time but it went unanswered. She got extremely worried and anxious, she needed to know what was going on. She had to get out of the hotel room but didn't know how. She self-loathed but knew what needed to be done. She handed him the phone and requested to take a shower.

Him: We are not yet done here. I want you to give me some more loving. (He croaked, grinning sheepishly)

Anisa knew she had to act fast. She had to think. An idea came, it was a long shot but worth the risk.

Anisa: Tell you what, I hate this place. Let's go to my place and I promise to treat you like a king. I'll make it worth your while. (She faked a huge smile although her heart bled).

He bought the idea. He put on his clothes hurriedly and signalled Anisa. They drove to her place as she struggled to keep calm. She directed him and halted outside a blue gate. Anisa felt her palms sweat. She knew what she had to do. She took one last good look at him and smiled.

Anisa: Last night was crazy, please remind me your name. Sorry I was too drunk to grasp it. (She tried to sound very calm and humble lest she triggers him again)

Him: Sweet mama was too blacked out to catch my name, huh! I never threw my name! Anyway, since I know where you live I think we now understand each other. I am Kwame, Bolo's friend from High school. Argg! We can continue this conversation after we finish what we started because, quite frankly, am not in the mood for nitty gritty. I want a bit of loving’.

Anisa nodded and got out of the car. As soon as she stepped out of the car she ran into the gate and locked it. Then ran through the plot which had several houses. Without looking, she ran through the wet clothes on the cloth line and could hear him struggle to open the gate. She got to an intersection between the houses and turned left where more houses were. This would confuse him and would stop him from looking for her. It was impossible to trace her quietly without drawing attention.

Anisa hid behind a dumpster and only came out when she heard his car driving off. She walked out of the gate and took a motorbike to her place. Went to her neighbour who had her extra key and got to her house, got some money, paid the motorcycle rider and headed back into her house.

She locked herself in and sat on the cold floor. Warm tears flooded her eyes and she broke down uncontrollably. Her heart felt like it was bleeding and on fire. A raging fire that burned her right in her soul. She wept bitterly, feelings of shame and guilt engulfed her. She didn't know what to do, she had no strength within herself to even think of what to do to remedy the situation. The pain, the magnitude of it was unimaginable, of her friends having abandoned her. Of this man who behaved like he owned her body. She traced her fingers and caressed her neck. She could feel the tiny ridges made by his fingers as he had strangled her. It felt as if his finger hand branded themselves on her neck, as if a smudge lay there and could never be washed off by a thousand baths.  She had to do something.

Then it flickered. She remembered a movie she'd watched some time back. “I Spit on Your Grave” was the movie. That was her moment and she knew exactly what had to be done.

Anisa.

By Janet Kilel