Why won't you leave?

I am woken up by the commotion emanating from outside. My heart is pounding I feel it in my throat. I am confused.I struggle to make sense of the commotion for I was in deep sleep. I sit up and listen keenly, I hear loud music. I get out of bed and I really can't shake off the fear in me. I am trembling and sweaty. I walk to the kitchen window where I can safely get a glimpse of what is transpiring outside. I can't see, so I open the back door and stand at the door step. The security lights outside our neighbour's house flickered. I listen keenly and I can hear them. Our next door neighbour. The loud music, the screaming, the banging. The cries.

A loud slap I hear. She starts wailing and sobbing. "Willy, wacha kunigonga, hii ni maisha gani? Basi si uniue tu. Nimechoka kupigwa kila siku.!!" amidst wailing.

Ali Kiba's seduce me blasted their woofer but it wasn't loud enough to gag the sobbing and wailing.
"Wewe ni mjinga sana,unanimwagilia maji kwa bed alafu unaniuliza hii ni maisha gani?"
"Wewe ata unaeza kua bibi ya nani? Nilikwambia uende nyumbani husikii, siezi ishi na bibi mjinga kama wewe".

He went on and on about how she is the most stupid woman he'd ever seen, how he wants her gone. And she kept wailing and groaning as slaps landed her smooth face. She tried explaining that she didn't want him coming home late, accusing him of cheating but his response were orders for her to shut up or he'll beat her to a pulp. She even told her to leave, complaining that he hadn't tied her to him, that he didn't force her to be in his house,that he didn't understand why she was still there.
He called her all kinds of names and she kept wailing. My heart continued beating and I froze right there at the doorstep for what seemed like eternity.

I could feel her pain. She wished he'd kill her instead, to end her pain. To end her torture and to make it easier for her. She wanted him to see how much she suffered for him. She wanted him to love her the way she loved him. Even if it was half as much. She wailed bitterly and cursed him for humiliating her. She cursed herself bitterly for loving him. He punched her and smacked her the more.

I went through it all with them. The punching, smacking, wailing, sobbing even cursing. My heart didn't rest, it pounded up to my throat. I couldn't cry but felt my stomach churning and on the verge of turning inside - out. My knees felt weak, like someone had hammered through my kneecap. My whole body ached.

I peered through the dark night and no one was in sight except me. I knew those neighbours could hear the commotion. The loud music which was very unusual. The smacking and punching. I knew they could hear her. No one but me stood there in the cold dark night, with a heavy heart as i went through it all with them.

I relived every moment of my own ordeal . Every time Willy punched her, I felt him punch me, every smack went directly to my lovely face. All the nasty names he called her, I felt his breathe on my face calling me stupid ugly whore.

I relived every single moment of it. I got lost in it all, I wanted to go to their house and stop him, I couldn't move. I was stuck in three different worlds; my past, my present and their present.
Then all of a sudden the wailing, punching and screaming stopped. It was like a tornado had passed and now you are left with the mess. I could only hear the music blaring. Then their door opens and the beast walks out of their house in a vest and boxers carrying a blanket. He sees me standing at our back door steps. I stared at him straight in the eye, not knowing what I was searching for. My rage was at 100°c. Maybe I wanted him to see my pain, to see how he hurts more that her. Maybe I wanted him to see how dark that path is and no one deserves to go through it. Maybe I wanted him to be ashamed of himself. We stared for I couldn't tell how long, then he looked away and hung his blanket on the lines like nothing had happened.

I went back inside the house, went to bed and wailed my heart out. I cursed them for taking me through that dark hole,for making me relive the worst moments of my life. Living with a batterer who believes in violence against women. I was bitter and angry at myself for failing to do something about it. I was angry at my other neighbours for not answering her distress call. I was pissed at the beast, for being a coward.

I must've fallen asleep because I woke up in the morning and went to my backdoor, flung it open as I rushed to see if she was still there. Not that we talk, I don't even know her name but I was eager to see her. To know that she was okay and hopefully see her packing her stuff to leave. That is what I wanted her to do. To leave him. After all, she is young, beautiful and the universe is on her side. I wanted her to walk out on the beast who might one day heed to her provocation and send her to an early grave. I wanted her to experience true happiness and love within herself and maybe someday, get to experience true love with some other human. I wanted her to live.

I get to where I stood the previous night and there she was, cleaning the house like nothing had happened.

She looks at me and we have a moment with her. Call it telepathy, I can feel her pain, her damaged self worth, her tormented soul. I see her swollen face, black eye and bloody bruised lips. She takes her eyes off me and continues with her chores. I feel my spirit break.